Uncle Sam Goes to Baghdad

Below is a brief, silly skit that I wrote and directed for an anti-war protest in Duluth in March, 2009.  It was designed to be done without any dialogue so that it could be given to a large, outdoor audience without needing a whole bunch of microphones, etc.

CHARACTERS:

-Uncle Sam

-Saddam

-Housemate #1 (“The Insurgent”)

-Housemate #2 (“Iraqi Woman”)

-Housemate #3 (“Prime Minister Al-Malaki”)

-Smokey the Peace Bear

Props: story telling signs for the sign holder; Uncle Sam mask; Saddam mask; Smokey the Bear mask; Abu Gharib outfit (cone hat and black shawl); mouth tape; ballots; toy gun; big stick; scene 4 banner; boom box; CD with soundtrack on it; veil

SCENE 1: Uncle Sam vs. Saddam

[song playing in the background: "Bad" by Michael Jackson]

Saddam and the 3 housemates (who have tape over their mouths for scenes 1, 2 and 3) are living in a house.  Uncle Sam knocks on the door.  Uncle Sam and Saddam haggle, shove each other, mock shout at each other, etc.  Uncle Sam angrily gestures to his watch and leaves.  In a few moments he comes back, and knocks on the door.  Saddam opens it and Uncle Sam shoots him in the head, killing him [Saddam then falls down, and remains on the ground for the rest of the whole skit].

SCENE 2: Uncle Sam in Charge

[song playing in the background: "Beat It" by Michael Jackson]

Uncle Sam, now the head of the household, starts throwing his weight around – pushing and mock shouting at the housemates.  Housemate #2 (a woman) dons a veil (which she keeps on for all of scene 2 and 3).  Uncle Sam forces housemate #3 to polish his shoes, and #2 to bring him tea.  He throws the tea on the ground because it’s too cold, and demands another cup.  Housemate #1 is told to do something also by Uncle Sam, but he refuses.  Uncle Sam then beats him with a stick, and makes him stand in the corner with a Abu Gharib style black cone hat and shawl on.

SCENE 3: Uncle Sam’s Democracy

[song playing in the background: "They Don't Really Care About Us" by Michael Jackson]

The scene opens with Uncle Sam waving his finger at and lecturing the housemates.  He hands them all ballots.  Housemate #1 refuses to take one.  Uncle Sam beats him with a stick again, and then shoots him in the head, killing him.  The two remaining housemates are made to fill out the ballots.  Uncle Sam looks at their ballots, angrily shakes his head, and erases what they have put.  He then gives them back to the housemates, and makes them fill them out again, after giving each of them a kick.  Uncle Sam then collects the ballots, and holds up the arm of a sheepish Housemate #3 as the winner [Al Malaki].  Housemate #2 [woman in a veil] awkwardly and meekly applauds.

SCENE 4: Smokey the Peace Bear Says . . .

[song playing in the background: "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson]

In this brief and final scene Housemates #1 and #2 walk forward holding a banner that says something along the lines of get involved in the anti-war movement, while a new character, Smokey the Peace Bear, steps forward and holds up a sign that says “Only YOU can stop U.S. invasions!”  Smokey does a little jig and the scene ends.  After which all of the characters step forward, form a line and take a bow.